Friday, January 18, 2013

On Dating

I've come to a realization lately about dating. It sucks. Guys these days seem to expect girls to be forward and out there, and I can't do that. I expect the guy to take a chance and ask, not make me put myself out there (where, let's be honest, I'm far more likely to be rejected than him) just to see if he's even interested! Then there's the whole discrepancy between the speed the world wants your relationship to go, the speed you want it to go, his speed, and your parents' speed. Now, when I had a boyfriend last year, his speed was LUDICROUS SPEED (Don't know what I'm quoting? Watch this movie). No offense to him, I just needed it a lot slower. Like a walk. Or an amble.
Not only do people in the world expect your relationship to go superman fast, they also expect you to do everything. I don't know about most people, but my beliefs and personal feelings about it are this: lust is natural, but love is better. So why try out lust when you can wait for love and never miss anything? Plus, not only does my religion prefer you to be married, it's safer that way in this day and time. At least if you're married, the guy is legally obligated to stick around if you get pregnant, or hurt. It just makes more sense to wait for marriage. On that note, I've decided to include kissing in the "off-limits" category while dating. Then I don't have to worry about when it's okay for him to kiss me or me to kiss him--it's always "no" until I'm at least engaged to him.
Yes, my dating experience is minimal at best (pretty much non-existent if you're feeling mean), but I've learned a lot from watching people around me. For instance, I've learned that without communication, the relationship dies. Also, things need to be spelled out to the point where there is no chance that you misunderstood. At all. Period, exclamation point. I've learned that it's best to go slow. A lot of relationships that go too far too fast end in misery for one or both parties. Take time to get to know the other person around other people before you start seriously dating. If you're good friends, you'll have more to talk about on the date and be more comfortable in the other person's company, whether it's just the two of you or if you're in a group.
Okay, enough of the serious talk. I just want to end with a funny experience in my apartment. One day, my best friend here (she's like my twin, we're so alike in some ways) said, "I wonder what it would've been like if I'd been born a boy." Due to preoccupation, my brain to mouth filter was not on and I replied, "Hmm, I probably would've married you." Several days later, I was looking at my hair in the sunshine and saw that my natural red highlights were coming out. Delighted, I called, "Crystal, my red is showing!" (she has fairly red hair)She replied, "I take it as a sign." I paused. "A sign of what?" "That we were meant to be together." Shortly after that, she put her debit card in my care to get gas for her. I promptly forgot to give it back before I went to Idaho for the better part of a week. Apparently, we're not even meant to be more than 100 miles from one another--that's the second time I took something of hers with me to Idaho.

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