Daily Blog 5 9/23/18

Today was great, but also tiring. I've been around a lot of people this weekend and I'm really not used to it anymore. I do miss seeing everyone, but I'm not sure it's enough to make me want to drive so I can see them more often. Driving means paying for a car and gas...

It's also hard to see all my close friends moving on to this next stage in life while I'm still here, trying to figure out what to do with my life since I'm not on the "normal" path of marriage and babies. It's difficult to remember that outside Mormon culture it's normal not to get married until after 30. Inside Mormon culture, people often judge a woman who isn't married by about 24 or 25. Though they don't judge men as much. It's like if a woman isn't married by then she's got to be defective, but of a man isn't he's just making sure he's ready to take care of a family. How is that fair? It hurts to know no one wants to date me, I don't need others to criticize me for it.

I guess it just hurts more because a guy I have a crush on was over tonight talking to Roommate 1 (I think she was giving him a haircut?) and he said he doesn't want to date in his ward. So that means he'll probably never see me in that way. Which is fine, but I don't meet new guys that often, let alone being able to actually talk to them. So I kind of feel like my chances are gone.

Which means I guess I need to focus on my writing. I can at least get something in my life on track and going for me.

Daily Blog 4 9/22/18

I slept a lot. Went to sleep at 10, woke up at 5 and then 7.  Roommate 2 and Salem(the cat) were awake, so we sat out in the living room to introvert socialize. Meaning we laid on the couches and played on our phones, lol. Eventually we decided to wake up Roommate 1 by putting the cat in her room because she can sleep through almost anything. But then Roommate 2 felt bad, so she went to get the car and found Roommate 1 awake.

Then the three of us watched random SortedFood videos on YouTube because that's what I had up (and they're super funny, go check them out if you like food shows). Eventually I got up and got dressed, then packed because I was planning to spend the night in Brigham City. Then I had to remind the others what time it was so they would get ready, since we were taking Roommate 2 to dim sum for her birthday.

It was sooooogooe good. If you've never had dim sum, find a place because it's great. We ate faster than I thought, so I didn't need to worry as much as I did-we had time to sit around before SV got there. She is super great, because she's generally willing to carpool with me since I don't drive. From there we went to Former Roommate's baby shower, which was fine. Loud and over crowded, but some of them were my people.

After we just hung out until most of us went to another friend's wedding reception in Farmington. We were there so late... and we compounded that by going to Pretzel Maker after.

In other words, we got to Brigham really late, and stayed up later because Kaylee is here, and I don't see her very often.

Ummmmmm....

Okay, this might scare some people, but I actually drove today. I mean I was literally behind the driver's seat for the first time in my life. It was kind of surreal at first. I mean, last time I drove something with a motor it was a four-wheeler, and I rolled it. Plus, I expected to be really bad and make mistakes, but I actually did pretty good. We did some stuff that'll be on the driving test (which is a ways away, but if I can do it now, imagine me with practice), and the only problems I had were parallel parking and lined parking in front of a side walk. But in my defense, the sidewalk was diagonal to the road. :P
Anyway, I'm also starting college in a few weeks. I'm soooo nervous, but I'm also a little excited. I get like that when I'm moving to a new life-phase. I feel like the girl in the book I'm reading, called My Ridiculous, Romantic Obsessions. She's not pretty, or anything like that, same as me, but she's also a major fan of romance novels, which really hit it on the nail for me because people who like those books tend to have unrealistic expectations for romantic relationships. Et voila, in the first couple pages, the heroine meets a Really Hot Guy she calls "Adonis". I rest my case. I do feel that the two will end up together, even though she's--I hate to say it--average (like me, for the most part). I'll have to keep you posted on how I feel about the book.