Daily Blog 9

I’m encountering a lot of new things today. So it’s both easier and harder than the rest of the week... I think I’m more nervous between calls than I am while on the phone. Weird.

We have a dance performance Saturday, but it’s only 20 minutes so dress rehearsal was pretty chill.

Oh, and I tried to call my health coach and of course she didn’t answer (last of the month, probably everyone and their dog was calling). I’ll have to call again today and talk to someone else.

Daily Blog 8 9/26/18

Much more frazzled today. Felt a little like I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. One thing I think i can be proud of--I had a complaint call that I managed to calm down enough that he was reassuring me he wasn’t mad at me, just the company since the company’s “slipping”. It’s kind of nice to be able to change someone’s mood like that. I’ve noticed that a lot of the callers I get just need someone to validate their feelings of frustration instead of trying to placate. Which I do a little, but mostly I just tell them I understand it’s frustrating and that we’re trying as hard as we can to get things caught up.

Also, I went to a nearby pizza place for a calzone, because not many places make them anymore (I was incredibly disappointed when I realized that Pizza Hut stopped years ago). I've had one from there before, but this one was not as good. I be dissatisfied.

But Pirates of Penzance fixes everything, right?

Daily Blog 7 9/25/18

Today felt busy. I didn't take any breaks other than bathroom/snatching bites of sandwich at my desk. Basically I did both jobs during the morning since I don't have any new job files to keep up to date. I answered a lot of inquiry calls and it was much easier than I expected. I should probably do overtime sometime this week to get some of GC's backlog of stuff done. I really appreciate him leaving a three inch pile of papers for me to process. *eye roll* I guess at this point I'm less smug that he left and more indignant about HOW he left. It's such a jerk move to give no notice like that. I can understand for some jobs, but the boss is decent and the workload is generally manageable--when you're not doing it alongside another job. I just don't understand people like that. Called it, yes. But I don't understand the motivation.

Speaking of motivation, I got the mail, called my mom, and made dinner today. I still need to take out the recycling and empty the dishwasher (if Roommate 1 doesn't do it before she goes to bed, the over achiever), but considering the lack of spoons I've had for the last several months, I call today a win, especially as opposed to yesterday. I got nothing done yesterday, to the point I didn't eat dinner and got up an hour early to shower this morning. I really feel like everything I did at work plus doing more than make dinner at home makes today a win.

Daily Blog 6 9/24/18

Looks like these are starting to be a day after thing. Oh well, at least I'm doing it. So GC quit, officially. I'm now pulling double duty and doing new job in the morning and old job + GC's bits in the afternoon. They still haven't changed my pay rate to new job's rate. Frustrating. It better change before payday this week.

I had a bad night. I struggle with a previous/frustratingly ongoing addiction to certain kinds of books/manga, and yesterday was the worst it's been for at least 2 months. Some days I feel like I'm doing well, and then days like yesterday happen. I just have to remind myself that "tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it, yet." (Thanks Anne Shirley). I also didn't eat dinner, because I just wasn't hungry. I'll do better tonight.

Daily Blog 5 9/23/18

Today was great, but also tiring. I've been around a lot of people this weekend and I'm really not used to it anymore. I do miss seeing everyone, but I'm not sure it's enough to make me want to drive so I can see them more often. Driving means paying for a car and gas...

It's also hard to see all my close friends moving on to this next stage in life while I'm still here, trying to figure out what to do with my life since I'm not on the "normal" path of marriage and babies. It's difficult to remember that outside Mormon culture it's normal not to get married until after 30. Inside Mormon culture, people often judge a woman who isn't married by about 24 or 25. Though they don't judge men as much. It's like if a woman isn't married by then she's got to be defective, but of a man isn't he's just making sure he's ready to take care of a family. How is that fair? It hurts to know no one wants to date me, I don't need others to criticize me for it.

I guess it just hurts more because a guy I have a crush on was over tonight talking to Roommate 1 (I think she was giving him a haircut?) and he said he doesn't want to date in his ward. So that means he'll probably never see me in that way. Which is fine, but I don't meet new guys that often, let alone being able to actually talk to them. So I kind of feel like my chances are gone.

Which means I guess I need to focus on my writing. I can at least get something in my life on track and going for me.

Daily Blog 4 9/22/18

I slept a lot. Went to sleep at 10, woke up at 5 and then 7.  Roommate 2 and Salem(the cat) were awake, so we sat out in the living room to introvert socialize. Meaning we laid on the couches and played on our phones, lol. Eventually we decided to wake up Roommate 1 by putting the cat in her room because she can sleep through almost anything. But then Roommate 2 felt bad, so she went to get the car and found Roommate 1 awake.

Then the three of us watched random SortedFood videos on YouTube because that's what I had up (and they're super funny, go check them out if you like food shows). Eventually I got up and got dressed, then packed because I was planning to spend the night in Brigham City. Then I had to remind the others what time it was so they would get ready, since we were taking Roommate 2 to dim sum for her birthday.

It was sooooogooe good. If you've never had dim sum, find a place because it's great. We ate faster than I thought, so I didn't need to worry as much as I did-we had time to sit around before SV got there. She is super great, because she's generally willing to carpool with me since I don't drive. From there we went to Former Roommate's baby shower, which was fine. Loud and over crowded, but some of them were my people.

After we just hung out until most of us went to another friend's wedding reception in Farmington. We were there so late... and we compounded that by going to Pretzel Maker after.

In other words, we got to Brigham really late, and stayed up later because Kaylee is here, and I don't see her very often.

Daily Blog 3 9/21/18

GC was once again gone. I though he might be, so I just started prepping for tasks I knew I'd get asked to do later. It was really nice to feel useful today, but to also know what I was doing. I actually took over one of GC's tasks for the day, and that was also pretty easy. I found myself thinking I could probably do his job if I ever needed to.

Other than that, it was a normal day. Grocery shopping with Roommate 2, pizza for dinner and Kakuriyo. I finally caught up and I'm a bit upset that it was a bit of a cliffhanger. Literally, they're going into a painting of a mountain... (Episode 23).

I'm worried about roommate 2 and her friend. He's made it clear that he wants to date her, and she keeps saying no. He's not pushing, but I just don't trust him not to try to change her mind. Am I being paranoid? I know I can be. But it also feels like they're straddling a weird line between dating and not dating where they don't go on dates, but he comes over several times a week for hours and buys her food. Doesn't that sound like dating? I'll talk to her tomorrow.